How Assuming I’m Selfish Helped My Relationships

A lot of things that don’t matter get said on twitter. A while back, though, I read something that changed my relationships for the better.

 

The Idea

Tim Keller leads a church of over 5,000 people in New York City, a place with its fair share of egos, and perhaps not a culture that screams selflessness. In mid-2014, he tweeted the following, which was then retweeted more than 1000 times! Clearly, there was something that resonated in these words:

A Deliberate Christmas

Christmas is one of those funny things, isn’t it? It holds so much promise and idealism for focusing on what really matters, and yet it can so easily become a catalyst for becoming anxious over things that don’t.

So how can we be deliberate about what prioritising the genuinely valuable over the simply costly this Christmas season?

Should You Create a Monthly Meet-up?

Remember when seeing your friends all the time was easy?

You didn’t think about ‘being intentional about friendships’ or ‘managing personal relationships’. You just hung out. None of you were being particularly¬†deliberate about anything.

But then, of course… life. Careers. Parenthood. Post-grad studies. Business trips.

At some point, you realise you’re just not seeing your friends that often anymore, and you might be going weeks – maybe even months – at a time without anyone outside of your house knowing what’s really going on in your life. Maybe a casual movie or dinner out every couple of months, but really… somewhere along the line in life, friendship stops just happening, and becomes something we have to decide to prioritise.

So how can we do this?